I feel like I haven’t updated this in a while!
Found out that our tutor wasn’t so keen on our script idea, but after standing our ground and coming up with a ‘flash back’ alternative to insert into the script at key points, as apposed to changing the scripts, we appear to have won him over!
You have mounted a good defence of your project! Your suggestion of including flashbacks of happier events she experienced in the past with her family is a good one, I think. These would show that she hasn’t always been unhappy at home. It would undermine what you want to say if the audience got the impression that she’s always been depressed – and that this is the reason she has committed suicide/killed herself
There were a few other questions asked about the script as well:
You’ve obviously thought hard about the plight of Kelly but in some ways I think we lose her very personal story and have the more generic references, Nirvana, wrist slashing and teenage angst.So, what is your aim in wanting to tell this story or in another way what is it about (not what happens or what we see)?Is it meant to engender a sense of reassurance that even though a young girls dies she’ll be ok in the next world?The conclusion as it stands leaves the father, stepmother and kids in a state of depression and the only one with resolution is Kelly.Who’s to blame for the events, the absent mother? Father’s new family? Lauren taking place of mother. Kelly just wants father to herself? Is selfishness the cause?I think the title, as it stands, clearly gives away the situation prompting the question how early do want the audience to be aware that she is dead (as well as Tobias)?Once we know she is dead it’s a case of waiting until she discovers this. is this enough fro an audience?
This is interesting to think that the public would think this, but it also raises valid questions to our approach. We could work with the way that the film is shot, edited and acted to show these things, or add more into the script to bulk out the story (which is one of the things we didn’t want to do, as we didn’t want to detract away from the film qualitites).
The drug awareness campaign is an interesting addition to the mix.Given that do we really see enough of the downward drug spiral to foreground the issue?Whilst it was clearly the cause of her death you did offer an alternative semi attempt at suicide with the compass and the back story is ‘deserted by mother etc.’ so drugs could be a bit of a side issue.Also what killed her? Bad coke? Too much of other drugs?We do only see her take the one line.The drugs bit is in evidence. We see her take it, the school scene focusses on it and the end bedroom scene makes clear reference to her drug taking. What I think is missing is maybe any sense that she been slipping down the slippery slope for some time. Should we see others that lead her on this path? Was there one action or event that pushed her towards the drugs?
I feel that in order to recieve a grade worthy of a 1st, me and Emily will have to take these comments on board, and put them into practice, either in shooting the film, editing the film, acting in the film, or in the script itself. These choices are up to us really, however, you always have to impress a tutor!
Helen Cleary has agreed to play the role of Lauren
Pete Grimwood has agreed to play the role of Tobias
I feel relieved, and although we have had to ask these to play the role, due to not much interest, they have agreed – PHEW!
Having secured 1 location (i.e My House), we are faced with a slight dilema of finding a Kitchen Table and Chairs, so if anyone reading this blog has this prop, that is essential to the scene could they get in touch with me!
More paper work!